Everyone tells you how much your life is going to change once you have a baby, but they can only tell you how their life changed. They can't predict how your life will change. Sure some things are fundamentally the same. But some are so unique to your situation, they could not have imagined it.
The first time you look into your child's eyes you understand what
the words unconditional love truly mean. This is one of the first
changes you have becoming a mother. Yes, I love her father deeply, but the love I felt when I held my daughter for the first time is something I could never
explain, and it has continued to grow every moment.You don't care if she wakes up in the middle of the night, or after you just put her down for a nap, because she just wants you to hold her for a little while before she goes back to sleep. You don't care if she is driving you crazy screaming in the backseat of the car just because she wants someone to play with her. Or when she throws a tantrum at 3 months old when you try to burp her before she has finished her bottle. It doesn't matter what she has done, you love her no matter what. Can you say the same for anyone else? Your spouse may come close, but come on, we all know that you can lose it on them, or blame them for something, etc. But your baby...they can do no wrong.
Some of the things that you would never think to change, ultimately changes. I can no longer just decide to go out with Ben to check on the cows, because I first have to find someone to watch Brooklynn. I can't just go visit a friend in the morning because I know that that is Brooklynn's nap time. We can't just be spontaneous and decide, "hey, we're in town anyways, lets just go to a movie", because we have to find a babysitter, and "oh, I didnt bring a bottle". This summer, I'm not going to be able to just go out and ride with Ben in the corn picker, because I will have a 8 month old who wont want to sit still in a crowded cab. And I wont be able to help with cow stuff, without having to leave her with grandma all day. And you dont want to go anywhere for too long, because you might miss something important, like the first time she laughs (already missed that), or the first time she rolls over, crawls, walks, talks. You cant finish anything around the house because she just woke up after only being asleep for twenty minutes, or because she doesnt want to play alone on the floor.
But yes, it does mean that you can lay on the floor all day watching your favorite TV show, without feeling bad, because you are playing with her and she is having a blast on the floor. That laundry doesnt have to be done today, because you played with your daughter all day, or you rocked her to sleep and just held her for a while when you could have put her down and got to work. She is your priority, and you dont feel bad for neglecting other things that are less important so that you can spend time on the important things.
You become completely selfless, to the point where its actually a bad thing. All of your time and energy is devoted to that little baby, that you forget to take care of yourself. Everything that you used to want for yourself, you now only want for her. Like wanting daddy to come upstairs from playing Halo, not to spend time with mommy, but to spend time with his daughter. I spend more time picking out outfits for my daughter than I do on myself. I'm more interested in brushing her short soft baby hair than my own. More interested in giving her a bath than myself. Give more importance to feeding her every three hours than even giving myself three meals a day. Yes, this just shows how much you love your child, and how your world comes to revolve around them, but some days you come to resent it, not your child, but just the fact that you no longer spend anytime on yourself. This results in one well groomed-well cared for-cutely dressed-happy baby, but one sloppy-housecoat wearing-messy ponytail-unfed-just rolled out of bed momma.
And this fact leads to one of the negatives about your new role, or at least for some. Some women are lucky, and you really hate them for it. They went through their pregnancy without gaining a pound, a stretchmark, or a pant size. Some go through these things, but already by about 3 weeks postpardum, they are already back in their pre-pregnancy jeans, with no stretchmarks, and weighing less than they did before they got pregnant. And then, there are people like me. I am the one who hates these women (sorry if you are one of them, but I'm sure you understand and wont be offended). I gained way more than what they say is "normal pregnancy weight gain", got stretch marks from my belly button to my freakin calves, and still 3 months post have only lost the delivery weight, nothing more. I didnt even get normal stretchmarks, I got them where I cant hide them. Sure, if they were just on my tummy I could live with that, cuz only I would have to see them, but on the back of my knees, they are there for the whole world to see. My skin never looks nice anymore. I hate pictures now, when I didn't before, because now I have a freakin fat face, that I cant even look at. Nothing in my wardrobe fits right, even when I go out and buy new clothes, they dont look good on my anymore by the next day. I go through three outfits before I can decide on one that makes me look the least flabby and fat. Even doing myself up doesn't make me feel good like it did before, cuz I still feel awful. And then you feel terrible because other people have it so much worse than you, because you chose this, and you at least got a precious gift out of it. Some people have their bodies due to health reasons, that they have no control over.
And then you feel guilty, because sometimes you wish that your body hadnt changed. That you could go back to how you were before. And it makes you think that you are a terrible mother for wishing that, because it means that you don't really want to give up everything for your baby. Because of course other mothers don't think this, and maybe you just dont have what it takes if you cant ungrudgingly sacrifice for your child. Of course other mothers must love their children more, right? They never think this, right?
And then you remember why you let you body be changed. You only have to look down at your child, and you remember. Even though it makes you sad, and sometimes not like yourself very much or the unfairness of it, you wouldnt change it for the world. All the sacrifices that you have made, and will continue to make, are all made worth it because of that perfect little child that has been sent to you directly from your Heavenly Father. They are completely perfect, and they could not have been made that way without Heavenly Father taking a little bit of your perfection to shape them. They are that part of you that you think you have lost.
March 27, 2013
March 16, 2013
Giggles, Bubbles, and Changes
Things are starting to swing into the busy season here on the farm. Our cows are calving right now, and so far we have had ten calves, with no deaths. We still have a few to go of ours, and then the wack load of Curtis' cows. That's when it gets really crazy. Hopefully we dont have any crazy spring storms this year to make things a pain in the butt.
Im really looking forward to Easter so that I can take some pictures of Brooklynn. I bought her these cute bunny ears for pictures. They look so cute on her. And of course, I'm super excited for some chocolate....not that I need it. Nope, definitely dont need it...still fat.
There have been a few changes going on, but not many. First off, Brooklynn can play by herself more now so it gives me time to actually make decent food for supper instead of garbage. Made really yummy tomato tortellini soup last night that I have never made before, meatloaf the day before, and homemade BBQ chicken pizza the night before. Tonight I think will be steak and potatoes and mixed veggies. Btw, I have SOOO much meat in my freezer. We butchered a cow, and took the entire thing. Well I have one little corner of misc. stuff, and the rest of my freezer is meat! I probably have like 20 roasts, and about 200lb of ground beef, plus tonnes of steaks and burgers. Its packed right full! I think we are going to give some away for our ward service auction of the youth programs.
I just switched Brooklynn over to her crib today, at least for her naps to start. She is getting too long for her bassinet. She somehow slides down to the bottom, even though she is swaddled, and then she is a scrunched up at the bottom. So we are trying to switch her over to the crib. The only thing I am worried about is that in the night when she starts fussing, I usually just get up and go put the soother back in or reposition the blanket around her head and she goes back to sleep. But having her in her crib means having her in the other room, so if she starts fussing I have to go all the way to her room instead of just across my bedroom. Hopefully she does okay. I did put a cd player in her room, and bought a set of primary music cds, so hopefully I can just play that all night and she will soothe herself if she starts to squirm or fuss. Lol that just means Ben and I get to listen to primary music over the monitor all night. We will see.
The funnest thing to happen this week was on tuesday night. Ben and I went to a movie for our weekly date night. It was good, but we missed something even better. My dad was playing with Brooklynn, and all of a sudden she broke out into laughter! It was just out of the blue! She had never done it before, not even close to a laugh. So Ben and I missed it :( But luckily my parents got it one video. Its so stinkin cute, it just makes me giggle everytime I watch it. I have been trying to get her to laugh again, but no success.
Instead of laughing, she just wants to mimic. So she has discovered how to blow bubbles and make raspberry noises (spit). I was trying to copy what my dad was doing to try to make her laugh, and she just copies now. Its super cute too. I just wish she would laugh again. Oh well, soon enough she will remember.
Its crazy to think that this was her not to long ago, she is changed so much!
More pics
Update:
-she now weighs a whopping 11lb 14oz! Thats 4lbs in three months, so she is right on track. I think they say about 1.5lb per month.
-still in size 1 diapers
-size 3-6 month clothes, mostly. Some 0-3 stuff and some 6-9 dresses. It just all depends on the clothes. I never really trust the sizes. Some dresses say like 12 months, but I can put her in them now and they fit good enough to wear.
-loves bathtime
-still trying to roll over, but can spin 360* on the floor like a breakdancer from trying to roll over but just scooching her legs over instead.
-she tries to sit up anytime she is in a half reclined position. It sure seems like she will sit up long before she will roll over.
-she is finally starting to get a little meat on her bones and not be such a scrawny little thing. She is still pretty tiny, and the 3-6 month close are still a little big around but she has to wear them for the length. Still a petite little thing.
-sleeps 10or11pm to 8am
Im really looking forward to Easter so that I can take some pictures of Brooklynn. I bought her these cute bunny ears for pictures. They look so cute on her. And of course, I'm super excited for some chocolate....not that I need it. Nope, definitely dont need it...still fat.
There have been a few changes going on, but not many. First off, Brooklynn can play by herself more now so it gives me time to actually make decent food for supper instead of garbage. Made really yummy tomato tortellini soup last night that I have never made before, meatloaf the day before, and homemade BBQ chicken pizza the night before. Tonight I think will be steak and potatoes and mixed veggies. Btw, I have SOOO much meat in my freezer. We butchered a cow, and took the entire thing. Well I have one little corner of misc. stuff, and the rest of my freezer is meat! I probably have like 20 roasts, and about 200lb of ground beef, plus tonnes of steaks and burgers. Its packed right full! I think we are going to give some away for our ward service auction of the youth programs.
I just switched Brooklynn over to her crib today, at least for her naps to start. She is getting too long for her bassinet. She somehow slides down to the bottom, even though she is swaddled, and then she is a scrunched up at the bottom. So we are trying to switch her over to the crib. The only thing I am worried about is that in the night when she starts fussing, I usually just get up and go put the soother back in or reposition the blanket around her head and she goes back to sleep. But having her in her crib means having her in the other room, so if she starts fussing I have to go all the way to her room instead of just across my bedroom. Hopefully she does okay. I did put a cd player in her room, and bought a set of primary music cds, so hopefully I can just play that all night and she will soothe herself if she starts to squirm or fuss. Lol that just means Ben and I get to listen to primary music over the monitor all night. We will see.
Its pink because I turned the flash off so you can see how the pink curtains turn everything pink in her room during the day.
(for some reason it wouldn't let me post a youtube video)
she loves looking at the camera. stops whatever she is doing, so its hard to catch anything
Its crazy to think that this was her not to long ago, she is changed so much!
More pics
Brooklynn, Ben, and Landon
Cute outfit from Kaitlin Wong
Cute little princess.
-she now weighs a whopping 11lb 14oz! Thats 4lbs in three months, so she is right on track. I think they say about 1.5lb per month.
-still in size 1 diapers
-size 3-6 month clothes, mostly. Some 0-3 stuff and some 6-9 dresses. It just all depends on the clothes. I never really trust the sizes. Some dresses say like 12 months, but I can put her in them now and they fit good enough to wear.
-loves bathtime
-still trying to roll over, but can spin 360* on the floor like a breakdancer from trying to roll over but just scooching her legs over instead.
-she tries to sit up anytime she is in a half reclined position. It sure seems like she will sit up long before she will roll over.
-she is finally starting to get a little meat on her bones and not be such a scrawny little thing. She is still pretty tiny, and the 3-6 month close are still a little big around but she has to wear them for the length. Still a petite little thing.
-sleeps 10or11pm to 8am
February 27, 2013
Promised Pics
Just a few of the pics I promised...
This is the first time she has ever done this. She was just laying there talking to Ben, just happy as could be after eating and having a morning bath, and then BAM....she smiled a little, fluttered her eyes, and went to sleep. All by herself! Not even swaddled or with a soother. She only stayed like this for almost an hour, but I'll take it.
She is so cute when she sleeps! The one plus of her not letting me put her down when she is asleep...I get to watch her sleep! My little Sleeping Beauty.
This pic was taken by Ben's cousin. These are Brooklynn's Huber cousins. Left to right---Quinn (3months, Ben's cousins baby), Beautiful Brooklynn (2months, our precious little girl), and Landon (2weeks, Ben's sisters baby). Grandma Sue got them all valentines shirts down in St. George. This was just this last week, so its a little late, but we got it.
I snapped a good one of Brooklynn, not crying this time. Happy Valentines Day Everyone!
This is one of my favorite pictures of her EVER! She has such fair features...perfectly straight hairline (cant see it in this picture, but its very defined, and all the same length at the back), porcelain skin, perfect kissable lips, cute little nose, and Ben's favorite... bright clear blue eyes! She looks pretty in pink.
Another cousins picture. Its hard to get one baby to look at the camera, let alone 3! Again, very fair features.
Finally all looking in the same direction. There skin is all different, so many variations of WHITE lol. Quinn (sorta Asian white?), Brooklynn (Porcelain Doll or Vampire white?), Landon (Redneck white?), yet all white, and yet all super cute.
February 23, 2013
Fighting with a 2 month old!
Ok Ok, before you freak out, we werent really fighting, although i do have scratch marks up and down my arms. Since I have started supplementing while waiting for my milk to come back in, Brooklynn has become attached to the bottle. She is actually getting food now, so she fights me when i try to breastfeed her. She screamed and scratched me up trying to pull away. Screamed and screamed and screamed. And mommy cried and cried and cried.
I really wanted to continue breastfeeding, cuz its easier because you dont have to sterilize or prepare anything. I kind of feeling like I didnt try had enough, but she wasnt letting me, and wouldnt take me back even if it did come back in. So I was really upset. But not as upset as she was for not getting enough food. So she won that battle. We are now switching to formula.
Slowly trying to wean her off me and forcing some bfing, just so that I dont get sore and engorged. She could quit cold turkey, but I cant. So that is our little update.
I really wanted to continue breastfeeding, cuz its easier because you dont have to sterilize or prepare anything. I kind of feeling like I didnt try had enough, but she wasnt letting me, and wouldnt take me back even if it did come back in. So I was really upset. But not as upset as she was for not getting enough food. So she won that battle. We are now switching to formula.
Slowly trying to wean her off me and forcing some bfing, just so that I dont get sore and engorged. She could quit cold turkey, but I cant. So that is our little update.
February 22, 2013
Bean Pole
Life is pretty uneventful, except for this cute little munchkin we have here. Valentines day, Brooklynn and I woke up to Maverick barking. Ben had walked in with a great big teddy bear, and Maverick was just trying to protect us lol. Daddy bought a great big bear for her, and a little red travel size bear. Mommy didnt get a teddy bear, but she did get chocolate.
She is a little bean pole, being super tall, but scrawnier than all heck. Most of her sleepers are 3-6months for the length, but she absolutely drowns in them cuz she cant fill them out.
One of the reasons for this, we have recently discovered, is that she has not gained any weight in the last week and a half. Ooops! I was doing her weekly weigh in, just to make sure, and its a good thing I did. She has only gained 2lbs 1oz since birth, and she is 8 weeks old...not good. So we went to the pediatrician, and he sent us over to the hospital to do a pre/post feed weight, and wanted a urine sample from her which means....ya you guessed it, my little girl had to have a catheter :( Sad day. But then she was happy, because I had to feed her. She only gained 40g after eating on both sides, and the doctor wants her to be taking 90g at least. So she isnt even getting half of what she should be.
So doc put me on Motilium to try to bring my milk back in, and a new regime for feeding: 15min each side, then top-off with Similac. The "top-off" is more like an entire feeding! Even after feeding her both sides, during which she dozes off because she is bored with not getting anything, she still downs about 3.5oz of formula (wide awake I might add, cuz she is actually getting something). Hopefully she wont start favoring the bottle, but if she does, oh well. As long as she is getting what she needs I dont care where she gets it from.
Although, it would be nice if she could keep sucking off this extra fat from me. I have only lost the initial weight that I lost after birth. I still have about 15lbs to lose before I will be even remotely happy, 25 would be better. I gained so much weight during my pregnancy, its sad. And a whole truck load of stretch marks! :( :( :( That is probably the worst thing that happened to this body of mine. I have wicked stretch marks from my belly button, all the way down to my knees, and some even sneaking across the border to my calves. I wouldnt mind so much if they were just on my tummy, cuz people would never see them, but having them on my legs, people see them all the time. Like even at church in my skirt, cuz some of them dont cover the back of my knees. I hate it! Im going to be one of those ladies who wears nylons all the time just to cover the stretch marks. Its no fair! Not only do you get fat, but my skin gets to be ugly for the rest of my life as well.
She is talking and smiling like crazy now, and it is easy to see how much she has changed when we compare her to her new cousin Landon. She is so big and lively compared to him, and yet she is still so tiny. She is sleeping really good at night, even though I am still sleeping her with me...its just easier. For example, last night she slept from 10:30-7, and that was even just laying beside me, not in the crook of my arm like usual. Now that she is getting the amount of food that she needs, Im going to try to sleep her by herself, since she will be nice and full and satisfied, so she might stay asleep better. Right now she wakes up whenever she is put down. We are trying to break out of that, but its proving difficult.
This also makes it very difficult for me to do anything around the house, such as putting up pictures so that it doesnt look like when just moved in when we have lived here for 9 months. Its actually quite pathetic. Im not much of a homemaker, when it comes to setting everything up and decorating and such. It also makes it less of a priority when we have this huge house all to ourselves, but not enough to fill it. Half of our house doesnt even get used, except for Ben's Halo tournaments. The basement is basically empty, or filled with things that i dont know where to put them because I dont really need them right now. One of the rooms upstairs is just a storage room too, a place for Ben to keep his sunday clothes and ties and stuff and to store the strollers that are not being used. Its kind of sad. I wish that I had a couple days just to myself so that I could fix it. Its funny...9 months of being pregnant with nothing to do, and I didnt do it, mostly because I didnt really think about it. Now that I have thought about it and want to change it, I cant because I am too busy taking care of this little monkey. Oh well, there are more important things in life.
The feedlot is about to pick up again, because our cows should be calving any day now. Thats only about 30 animals, because the angus herds dont calve till the end of next month/beginning of April. But the Charolais are calving pretty quick here, so Ben has to get everything ready for that. They just built a maternity building, for when we need to help pull some, or there are sick or struggling calves or mommas. It looks really nice. I guess there will be more and more changes to come, because Ben says he wants to keep expanding the feedlot and upgrading it. Our bull sale is coming up pretty quick here too, and Im excited for that. Last year it was pretty fun. We are actually having two this year, at different locations, just to see how they do. We fell very behind on all of our cow paperwork this year, and I dont know why. But it made it very difficult to fix problems that happened almost a year ago. We need to figure out a new way to do it so that we do not run into the same problem next year. We are not even done last years yet, and this year is about to start. Geesh!
Well, thats about it for now I think. Sorry that there arent many pictures this time. Next time
stupid picture wont turn, just tilt your head lol
shirt from gma huber
One of the reasons for this, we have recently discovered, is that she has not gained any weight in the last week and a half. Ooops! I was doing her weekly weigh in, just to make sure, and its a good thing I did. She has only gained 2lbs 1oz since birth, and she is 8 weeks old...not good. So we went to the pediatrician, and he sent us over to the hospital to do a pre/post feed weight, and wanted a urine sample from her which means....ya you guessed it, my little girl had to have a catheter :( Sad day. But then she was happy, because I had to feed her. She only gained 40g after eating on both sides, and the doctor wants her to be taking 90g at least. So she isnt even getting half of what she should be.
So doc put me on Motilium to try to bring my milk back in, and a new regime for feeding: 15min each side, then top-off with Similac. The "top-off" is more like an entire feeding! Even after feeding her both sides, during which she dozes off because she is bored with not getting anything, she still downs about 3.5oz of formula (wide awake I might add, cuz she is actually getting something). Hopefully she wont start favoring the bottle, but if she does, oh well. As long as she is getting what she needs I dont care where she gets it from.
Although, it would be nice if she could keep sucking off this extra fat from me. I have only lost the initial weight that I lost after birth. I still have about 15lbs to lose before I will be even remotely happy, 25 would be better. I gained so much weight during my pregnancy, its sad. And a whole truck load of stretch marks! :( :( :( That is probably the worst thing that happened to this body of mine. I have wicked stretch marks from my belly button, all the way down to my knees, and some even sneaking across the border to my calves. I wouldnt mind so much if they were just on my tummy, cuz people would never see them, but having them on my legs, people see them all the time. Like even at church in my skirt, cuz some of them dont cover the back of my knees. I hate it! Im going to be one of those ladies who wears nylons all the time just to cover the stretch marks. Its no fair! Not only do you get fat, but my skin gets to be ugly for the rest of my life as well.
She is talking and smiling like crazy now, and it is easy to see how much she has changed when we compare her to her new cousin Landon. She is so big and lively compared to him, and yet she is still so tiny. She is sleeping really good at night, even though I am still sleeping her with me...its just easier. For example, last night she slept from 10:30-7, and that was even just laying beside me, not in the crook of my arm like usual. Now that she is getting the amount of food that she needs, Im going to try to sleep her by herself, since she will be nice and full and satisfied, so she might stay asleep better. Right now she wakes up whenever she is put down. We are trying to break out of that, but its proving difficult.
This also makes it very difficult for me to do anything around the house, such as putting up pictures so that it doesnt look like when just moved in when we have lived here for 9 months. Its actually quite pathetic. Im not much of a homemaker, when it comes to setting everything up and decorating and such. It also makes it less of a priority when we have this huge house all to ourselves, but not enough to fill it. Half of our house doesnt even get used, except for Ben's Halo tournaments. The basement is basically empty, or filled with things that i dont know where to put them because I dont really need them right now. One of the rooms upstairs is just a storage room too, a place for Ben to keep his sunday clothes and ties and stuff and to store the strollers that are not being used. Its kind of sad. I wish that I had a couple days just to myself so that I could fix it. Its funny...9 months of being pregnant with nothing to do, and I didnt do it, mostly because I didnt really think about it. Now that I have thought about it and want to change it, I cant because I am too busy taking care of this little monkey. Oh well, there are more important things in life.
The feedlot is about to pick up again, because our cows should be calving any day now. Thats only about 30 animals, because the angus herds dont calve till the end of next month/beginning of April. But the Charolais are calving pretty quick here, so Ben has to get everything ready for that. They just built a maternity building, for when we need to help pull some, or there are sick or struggling calves or mommas. It looks really nice. I guess there will be more and more changes to come, because Ben says he wants to keep expanding the feedlot and upgrading it. Our bull sale is coming up pretty quick here too, and Im excited for that. Last year it was pretty fun. We are actually having two this year, at different locations, just to see how they do. We fell very behind on all of our cow paperwork this year, and I dont know why. But it made it very difficult to fix problems that happened almost a year ago. We need to figure out a new way to do it so that we do not run into the same problem next year. We are not even done last years yet, and this year is about to start. Geesh!
Well, thats about it for now I think. Sorry that there arent many pictures this time. Next time
February 04, 2013
Time...6 Weeks Old Already!
Wow, Brooklynn is already 6 weeks old! How time flies...and yet...it seems like it has been forever, all at the same time. Which is kind of the same as when I was pregnant. Time is such a crazy thing. For example:
45 years ago today, my wonderful mother was born. For her, it seems like time has just flown by. One moment she was my age, and all of a sudden she is 45, mother of 3 (who are almost all graduated), with a little adorable granddaughter....and yes mom, grey hair too lol. Who 'da thunk. Happy birthday to the best mom in the world.
Just over a year and a half ago, Ben and I got married...and now, we have the most precious little daughter anyone could ever have, and one beast of a dog who is crazy jealous of her. I had to go out and buy him a bunch of his own toys (durable so he cant destroy them) just so Brooklynn could have her soothers to herself. He would go after her soother, even if its sitting with a bunch of other stuff, even food. Nope, he wants the soother, "take that ugly hairless puppy!"
Brooklynn is such a precious gift, especially to her daddy. Ben was explaining it to me once, but he didnt really know how to word it. In her baby blessing, Ben wanted her Heavenly Father to let her know how much of a gift she is to her daddy. I asked him about it, particularly why he didnt include mommy too. When he explained it to me, I understood that how he worded it wasnt quite how me meant it, cuz he didnt know how to say it, but that Brooklynn would know just the same. But I get it. He wanted her to know that she was the gift (blessing) he was given, that he wouldn't have had the opportunity to receive, had he not got back on the right track. She is the culmination of every blessing he has received from that decision. That having her makes him recognize how much his life has changed. Its even hard for me to try to explain it, but I can feel what he is trying to say.
Life is so strange. You look around, and see everyone progressing to different stages in their lives, particularly people who are older than you. And you think "wow, being graduated looks so awesome", "college looks easy and fun", "she's married now! thats so crazy. weird", "they have a baby, they are old". And you think that at each transition, the person themselves changes a little, or alot. Especially with having a baby. Being a mom is lots of fun, and work. But when I look at other people I think "what I have doesnt look anything like what they have. They seem like they are a mom, whereas I just feel like I have a baby. This doesnt seem like what so-and-so does, or acts, or feels." And yet, it is exactly what they do and feel. Yes they are graduated, or married, or a mommy. But they are still that person, just with something added to their situation. Again, I dont know if I am explaining this very good.
Brooklynn is growing so much. She has grown out of lots of her sleepers, her cutest ones too unfortunately :( She still has scrawny little legs and arms, she is just tall! I hope that she keeps growing tall, and gets the tall genes from both sides, not the short, cuz there is definitely both on both sides. Her hair is growing really fast too, in some spots. Some of the hairs are so long now, but not all. The top of her head doesnt seem to want to grow hair very fast. But she looks super cute in her headbands! I love 'em.
She is smiling so much now......and TALKING! She likes laying out and just talking to people, or herself, or the wall, doesnt matter to her. Last night she laid there forever, just chattin it up with my mom and Jessica. But she talks with my dad the most. He says its because she likes him most, but I think its just because he is the craziest and makes the strangest faces so she is laughing at him, not with him. She hasnt actually produced a vocal laugh as of yet, but it is just around the corner. She also has yet to roll over, but I think that is just because she hasnt liked laying out until now, so all her tummy time has been on peoples chests or laps, not on the floor. But she has pulled herself up with her arms, and she lifts her head like a pro. Ben is already ready for her to crawl and walk and talk and run. He just wants to be able to play with her more. She loves swimming! Oh boy does she love bath time. She will be screaming, plop her in the water, and BAM, no more screaming. She even fell asleep at the swimming pool last week. I think she is going through a bit of a growth spurt, cuz she is eating all the time and sleeping all the time. And yes, it is possible to do both all the time. She will eat, then fall asleep for about 10 minutes, then wake up and eat a little again, the fall back asleep. So its a little hard for mommy to do anything, she pretty much just sleeps in my arms on the couch, so that when she wakes up 10 min later and starts crying for food, Im right there.
Well thats all for now, time to feed the little monkey again.
45 years ago today, my wonderful mother was born. For her, it seems like time has just flown by. One moment she was my age, and all of a sudden she is 45, mother of 3 (who are almost all graduated), with a little adorable granddaughter....and yes mom, grey hair too lol. Who 'da thunk. Happy birthday to the best mom in the world.
Just over a year and a half ago, Ben and I got married...and now, we have the most precious little daughter anyone could ever have, and one beast of a dog who is crazy jealous of her. I had to go out and buy him a bunch of his own toys (durable so he cant destroy them) just so Brooklynn could have her soothers to herself. He would go after her soother, even if its sitting with a bunch of other stuff, even food. Nope, he wants the soother, "take that ugly hairless puppy!"
Brooklynn is such a precious gift, especially to her daddy. Ben was explaining it to me once, but he didnt really know how to word it. In her baby blessing, Ben wanted her Heavenly Father to let her know how much of a gift she is to her daddy. I asked him about it, particularly why he didnt include mommy too. When he explained it to me, I understood that how he worded it wasnt quite how me meant it, cuz he didnt know how to say it, but that Brooklynn would know just the same. But I get it. He wanted her to know that she was the gift (blessing) he was given, that he wouldn't have had the opportunity to receive, had he not got back on the right track. She is the culmination of every blessing he has received from that decision. That having her makes him recognize how much his life has changed. Its even hard for me to try to explain it, but I can feel what he is trying to say.
Life is so strange. You look around, and see everyone progressing to different stages in their lives, particularly people who are older than you. And you think "wow, being graduated looks so awesome", "college looks easy and fun", "she's married now! thats so crazy. weird", "they have a baby, they are old". And you think that at each transition, the person themselves changes a little, or alot. Especially with having a baby. Being a mom is lots of fun, and work. But when I look at other people I think "what I have doesnt look anything like what they have. They seem like they are a mom, whereas I just feel like I have a baby. This doesnt seem like what so-and-so does, or acts, or feels." And yet, it is exactly what they do and feel. Yes they are graduated, or married, or a mommy. But they are still that person, just with something added to their situation. Again, I dont know if I am explaining this very good.
Brooklynn is growing so much. She has grown out of lots of her sleepers, her cutest ones too unfortunately :( She still has scrawny little legs and arms, she is just tall! I hope that she keeps growing tall, and gets the tall genes from both sides, not the short, cuz there is definitely both on both sides. Her hair is growing really fast too, in some spots. Some of the hairs are so long now, but not all. The top of her head doesnt seem to want to grow hair very fast. But she looks super cute in her headbands! I love 'em.
She is smiling so much now......and TALKING! She likes laying out and just talking to people, or herself, or the wall, doesnt matter to her. Last night she laid there forever, just chattin it up with my mom and Jessica. But she talks with my dad the most. He says its because she likes him most, but I think its just because he is the craziest and makes the strangest faces so she is laughing at him, not with him. She hasnt actually produced a vocal laugh as of yet, but it is just around the corner. She also has yet to roll over, but I think that is just because she hasnt liked laying out until now, so all her tummy time has been on peoples chests or laps, not on the floor. But she has pulled herself up with her arms, and she lifts her head like a pro. Ben is already ready for her to crawl and walk and talk and run. He just wants to be able to play with her more. She loves swimming! Oh boy does she love bath time. She will be screaming, plop her in the water, and BAM, no more screaming. She even fell asleep at the swimming pool last week. I think she is going through a bit of a growth spurt, cuz she is eating all the time and sleeping all the time. And yes, it is possible to do both all the time. She will eat, then fall asleep for about 10 minutes, then wake up and eat a little again, the fall back asleep. So its a little hard for mommy to do anything, she pretty much just sleeps in my arms on the couch, so that when she wakes up 10 min later and starts crying for food, Im right there.
Well thats all for now, time to feed the little monkey again.
February 02, 2013
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