To My Sweet Birthday Girl

This entry is for Brooklynn, my sweet birthday girl…

 

Brooklynn's first portrait, and our first family picture 2012

One year ago Daddy and I received one of heaven’s littlest angels. Daily I find myself grasping at time as it whizzes past, trying to keep you my baby as long as I can. But time has flown by, and I want to share with you how you have grown this last year, so that when you are old enough to ask “Mom, what was I like when I was 1?”, I can share this amazing year with you. (I imagine being asked that question over the phone, as you sit awake after your own little precious angel has drifted off to sleep. And I weep thinking about how quickly time will snatch my little baby away from me to become a beautiful woman). This is what I want you to know:

1.       You were stubborn/determined! But don’t worry my love, I mean this in the most loving and positive way possible. Right from the get-go, you were determined to accomplish whatever you set your mind to. With everything that you did, you just woke up that morning and decided “Im going to do this today!” and you went and did it. One example of this was learning to crawl up stairs. You tried and tried to climb up the ledge by Grandma H’s piano, but got so frustrated when you couldn’t do it. The next day when we went over to visit, you crawled right over to the ledge and climbed up on the first try. It was as if you had been dreaming about it all night and had devised a plan to accomplish your goal. It was the same with everything that you wanted: bottle feeding, putting yourself to sleep, rolling over, crawling, stairs, talking, walking. Just out of the blue you would look at me as if saying “Mom, I don’t want to do it that baby way anymore, I’m big enough to do it this way”, and then you would. This made it very easy when it came to sleep training, and I pray that this attitude carries on to potty training and every other aspect of your life.

2.       You were the best newborn that I have ever seen. You hardly ever cried, and when you did you were easy to soothe. You slept like a dream. You played big and loved big. You were perfect. Im not just being biased, because everyone used to tell me how perfect you were. And you still are.

3.       Your blue eyes could melt hearts, especially your Daddy’s. He could never stay mad at you when he stared into those bright baby blues.

4.       You had your daddy’s love of animals. Your kitty and puppy could make you smile when you were grumpy. You would spend hours chasing Mr. Muss and Maverick around the house, pulling tails,  snuggling with them, and sitting on them. Many times I heard giggles coming from down the hall, and I would look to find the darting past you.

5.       You were the most chatty baby I have ever met! It was amazing how many things you could say, how quickly you learned new words, and how well you were able to express yourself. Of course, your favorite word was mama, as you lay in your crib calling for me to come get you. Next was dada, as your face lit up when he got home from work. Next was papa…papa worked really hard on that one. Nana was the name you called when you wanted to snuggle or talk on the phone. Jessica was your cutest name to learn, and we were all stunned that you could say such a hard word. You are still learning how to say Ryan, because he left on his mission before the talking stage, but you are trying really hard. Your next two words I heard about 100 times every day: More (also daddy’s first word) and no! It was easy for me to understand when you wanted more food, or when you were done or didn’t want something. It was incredible how well you could express yourself. Some of your other words included bottle, soother, diaper, thank you, sweater, shoes, night-night, purple, yellow, no more, down, book and mhmm. You could tell me what a sheep says, as well as a kitty, puppy, monkey, horse, cow, and a duck. Just before your birthday you learned how to say cute, cheese, a variation of yogurt, bye-bye, and puppy. One week before your birthday, while playing with your shoe, you told me they were cute when I asked if you liked them. You said “shoe…dere (there) cute”. My jaw dropped. Your first sentence before you were 1! Just before your birthday you learned how to say “I know,” so daddy taught you to say it whenever someone said that you are cute. There were lots of other things you could say, plus the entire baby language that you could speak. You just jabbered all day.

6.       You had attitude! Good and bad J you thought that you ran the show, and were upset when you found out that mommy was actually in charge (ya right, we both knew you were really the one who called the shots). I could have sworn that you had started the terrible two attitude phase at 10 months. But you also had spunk, and we adored you for that. There were many times where you would sass me, but all I could do was shake my head because it was just so darn incredible.

7.       You were a genius baby. You could do the actions to patty-cake, the little green frog, three little monkeys, and teasing mr. crocodile. You used your creativity to climb onto things (one time you opened the drawers on grandmas coffee table so that you could use them as a stair to climb up onto it). You climbed on everything!!! And then attempt to stand on it. You could turn on your stereo, climb up and down stairs, sneak around to get at something you are not supposed to touch, help put on and take off clothes, occasionally put your diaper in the genie, and take something to mommy or daddy. You could understand most of what we said to you, even though it didn’t feel like it at the time. Every day you did something that astounded me. I was always in awe at what you could do.

8.       Some of your favorite foods included mandarin oranges, noodles, steak, beef jerky, yogurt tubes, chocolate milk, pickles, ice cream, smoothies, and fruit snacks.

9.       You rolled over at 4 months, sat up unassisted at about 5.5 months, crawled at 6 months, pulled yourself up to standing at about 8.5 months, and walked by 10 months. By 1 year you could climb up onto low couches and chairs (or pretty much anything that you thought you could stand or sit on) and could really motor.

10.   Just before your birthday, our favorite things that you could do were giving kisses (you would give great only-slightly-slobbery kisses on demand, mommy’s favorite!!), giving lickin’s, and giving bonks (bonking heads).

11.   You changed daddy’s life

12.   You changed mommy’s life

Nothing could have prepared us for this great adventure that we have embarked upon, you, me, and daddy. You have grown so much this year, and we are constantly amazed at the little girl you are growing up to be. You are an amazing little girl, who brings joy to your family. You make everything good, and make everyone feel good about themselves through the love that you so freely give. I never feel better about myself than when I look into your smiling face. Daddy feels the same way too. We see the best of ourselves in you, and the way you see us reflected back to us in those bright blue eyes that look up at us with such devotion. You are our whole world! We love you more than life itself. Now that we have you, we will never let you go. You are our everything! Happy Birthday my sweet angel <3

 

Brooklynn 1yr old, and our newest family picture 2013

In = Out

Brooklynn has now spent as much time out in the world as she did growing in my belly. Yup, that's right, 9 months old!!! And my how quickly time passes, and how quickly they change. Its hard to believe that it has already been 9 months. And in a few short months, she will be 1!!! It's crazy sometimes.

At 9 months, this is where we are at:
-about 19lbs, give or take a few ounces
-new, big-girl carseat, still rear-facing (getting to big to be hauled around in the infant carseat)
-not even sure what size of clothes, I just try something on and see if it fits. Usually go through a couple before I find one that fits :(  Toss the old ones in a tub for storage, some brand new, unworn.
-5 teeth, soon to be like 10. Lots of bubbly tender gums, its gonna be a rough time for the next little while
-speed demon crawler
-little turkey who likes to get into things she knows she shouldn't be in. Already lots of tude, looking at me like "try to stop me mom", "look what I'm doing", "pah-lease mom (with the accompanying eye roll).
-standing up to everything
-took her first two steps just last night, walking from me to my mom. I think by Halloween we will have a walker on our hands.
-can say momma, dadda, nanna, papa, auntie, jessica, ry-ry (especially for Ryan :) love that boy), yes, no, night-night, more, juice, tickle-tickle
-can tell you what a cow or sheep says
-claps, waves, blows kisses, gives hugs, dances

Its crazy how quickly she has become independent. I cant even remember the last time she let me rock her to sleep. I just lay her down in her crib, after she pesters me saying "nigh-nigh" over and over again, with her bottle and soother, and she puts herself to sleep. We usually snuggle when she wakes up, but not for long, because then its time to play again.

We did our first home installation the other day, and installed our new dishwasher. It works great...so far. Im still waiting for the fitting to burst or something and to wake up one morning to a flooded kitchen. Fingers crossed. Next is a new tap for our kitchen sink.

Ben has lost 10lbs in about 2-3weeks, just from cutting carbs and going to the gym in the morning. I have lost 5lb in 1month. Why is it always so much easier for men to loose weight? It's not fair. But I just tell myself "Slowly, slowly". 

Now that its fall, I've really been in the baking/crafty/homemaking mood. I have managed to keep my kitchen and livingroom clean for quite a while. Still kinda chicken to tackle the bedrooms (mostly Brooklynn's because I know that most of her clothes have to be packed away). This week I made a pumpkin pie (of course) for Ben. I hate pumpkin, but he absolutely loves it. I even made it from scratch...thats right, I baked my own pumpkin and everything. Granted, the crust was store bought, but who makes their own crust anyways lol. Today I made mini breakfast casseroles in muffin tins (eggs, hashbrowns, cheese, sausage) for a quick and easy breakfast in the morning. They should last a week I think. Tomorrow is lazy spicy cabbage roll casserole, and maybe a rootbeer float pie. Sunday is apple pie/crisp baked in apples for dessert. Mmmmm.

When I was thinking about writing this post, I realized something......No one cares!!! No one cares about what I write in my blog, because in reality, people are too busy and occupied with their own lives and problems and joys that they don't really care about mine. Yes, they might read my post, perhaps out of curiosity or most likely plain old boredom. But it doesnt really matter. And why should it? Although blogs were perhaps intended to share your life with others, its not really true life. We know that other people are reading it, so we are never 100% truely honest about, well anything. We don't go around sharing our problems or struggles or true feelings, we only share the good. Because really, we dont want people knowing that we have struggles, or what those struggles are. And yet, we all have them. We are afraid that because we have struggles, we are weaker or not as good as other people. No one likes to waves their dirty laundry in other peoples faces for the whole world to see. And so, unless you are privy to information, or are exceptionally close to someone, you will never truly know what their lives are like. What they go through everyday, their sorrow, their pain, their feelings. We only know what they want us to see. We all do it. I do it.

So that's why I wasnt gonna write this post, because really, its just a bunch of words on a screen. But then maybe it will make someone less bored. Someone who is up at 1am like I am. Someone who is struggling with their own secret problems, who can just escape to the happy moments in someone else's life, if even for a moment. Here's to you.

If at first you don't succeed....go get more bruises!

     This has been the new thing with Brooklynn lately..."hey, that hurt...Lets Do It Again!" She is standing up in her crib, pulling herself up on the couch (trying to stand with one hand cuz she's too cool for two). And today she decided to completely let go of the couch, turn around, and try to walk away. Needless to say she face-planted into the carpet. And yet, she got back up and tried to do it a couple more times, with the same results. She is such a determined little girl, she must get it from her father. She tries so hard to accomplish her goal, and doesn't let disappointment get to her. Ya, she gets frustrated that she cant be like the big kids, but she doesnt cry about it. It just makes her try that much harder. If only we could all be like Brooklynn. We could do anything, and accomplish it so much faster. Ie. She wanted to climb up a set of two stairs, she couldnt do it one day, even after all her effort. But the next day she went straight for the stairs, and climbed both of them. As if she had been thinking about it overnight and had concocted a way to do it. The average person, when they fail, are to disappointed to try again, at least for a while. But if we were all like Brooklynn, we would just go right back at it the next opportunity, and we would get it done.

      But, with all this new adventuring, comes new owies and booboos. She has a great big bruise on her forehead, which has now been concealed with a mosquito bite, and she keeps getting more. As she starts walking, which wont be long I'm sure (maybe a month or two), she will only get more. I'm really tempted to buy one of these....lol.

 

      She has been having some sleep problems, which makes mommy have sleep problems. Daddy cant get up with her in the night because he is up at the buttcrack of dawn to go to work, and doesnt get home till almost 10 most nights, so he is really tired. So mommy never really gets a break. I'm not quite sure why her sleep patterns have changed, but she wakes up at least once a night now, and is awake by 6. And now, the last two days, she has had a wicked cough that wakes her up. So even after a restless night, she cant even get in a good nap because she coughs herself awake. I can hear her coughing as we speak. Makes me so sad :( And the doctor said her chest and throat look clear, so there is nothing I can really do except rub vics on her feet. 

     She has pretty much told me that she doesn't really want a bottle anymore, except first thing in the morning, just before bed, and in the middle of the night. So she only has three, maybe four bottles a day. The rest of the day she eats sweet potatoes, squash, mandarin oranges, peaches, applesauce, carrots, green beans, chicken & veggie risotto, lemon chicken & rice, veggie & beef spaghetti, and instant oatmeal. She eats an entire small jar of baby food, or one of those snack cups of fruit, so it gets to be a little pricey. I tried to make homemade babyfood, but she wont eat it, she just gags on it. EVERYONES A CRITIC! 

    

So Ben has been putting in alot of hours on the ranch with breeding time being here. These are the two months that I absolutely hate! We hardly get to see each other, and when we do, its either just for me to drop off lunch, or a quick supper before he falls asleep at the table. And it makes it really hard for Brooklynn to see him because she is still asleep when he leaves, and has gone down for the night before he gets home. Some days I try to just keep her up a few more minutes so that she can see him. As soon as he gets home she is wide awake and wanting to play. She misses her daddy.....and so does mommy :(

Canada Day pool party

Helping mommy sort clothes

Great Grandma Moe

Great Grandpa Atwood

Super cute bathing suit

"Mom, I think there is something on my nose!"

Crawlin around

Too Long

Its been too long since I have blogged. I hate doing catchup blogs, so I always miss exciting things. Oh well, I'd rather live it than write it.

First off, RYAN IS GONE! :( A week ago today we drove up to Calgary to drop him off at the airport to go to Santiago Chile. Yes, for those of you who dont know, Ryan got his new mission call to Santiago Chile. He only had a little under three weeks notice. Salt Lake called our Stake President and told him to give Ryan a headsup that he would be leaving international in three weeks, but they wouldn't say where. A week later he got his call in the mail, turning international into Chile! He was so excited because he was afraid that he was going to be sent to Winnipeg with all the Visa crap he has had to deal with. So he got everything ready in a whirlwind. My parents were very stressed out with having to do it so quick, and so was I. The reason I was stressed was because we were having the Open House and family dinner at my house, and some family staying here, so I had to get my entire house cleaned before then, which I can tell you was a chore. Luckily my fam came and helped me organize my basement crap, that has been sitting there for a year. But everything got done, Ryan gave an amazing farewell talk, and we drove up to Calgary.

I am happy that I decided to go up, even though it meant waking up at 3am the next day to get him to the airport. Ryan, Jessica and I sat in the back seat and sang Disney songs the entire way. Brooklynn and Ben thought we were a bunch of crazies, but it was just like old times. A few times I almost cried singing because it would be a while till that would happen again. I cried lots for Ryan and Brooklynn. By the time he gets home she will be 2.5yrs old! Walking, talking, etc. And she wont have any idea who he is, and wont remember the kind of relationship that they have right now. Ryan spent about 2 hours every morning at my house for a year, waiting for Ben to get ready to go to work. Its really sad, and I could tell that Ryan was really sad to leave her. But he will be a great missionary, and we are all proud of him for being so diligent in his long wait.

Speaking of Brooklynn, holy crow has she gotten big! She is now 6 months old!!!! Half a year already!!! It doesnt seem like that long ago. She is now 14lb 11oz (25%) and almost every other baby who is her age, or even 2 months younger, are bigger than she is. Her 4 month old cousin is 15lb 10oz, my 2 month old cousin is almost 14lbs. But, she is as tall, or taller than them, at 26.5 inches.

She is getting so big I can't even believe it. Her newest development.....she can crawl!!!! Not just army crawl, but one had in front of the other up on her knees crawl. Haha you should see me right now! Some would think that Im a terrible mother, but its fun. As i am writing this, Im tossing popcorn twists on the ground for Brooklynn to crawl to and eat. She reminds me of Boo off of Monsters Inc. crawling after the Cheerios. I can't get enough of it. Its entertaining her and I, working on her crawling and hand dexterity, and keeping her busy all at the same time. But man, she sure figured out how to actually crawl very quickly. Its been two days since my dad decided to work with her on it. She had been army crawling/rocking on her hands and knees, but up till then could not figure out how to move her hands too. But she has figured it out.....now Im in trouble lol.

Today, she also figured out how to push herself up to sitting! Soooo Big! She is getting so much more body control now. But it also means that I cant lay her somewhere for a minute because she can get off. It means that she can do a front flip out of her carseat if she is not buckled. It means that I have to lower the mattress in her crib so I dont find her on the floor one day. It means that I have to babyproof everything. But its so fun :)

She babbles, she squawks, she screams, she giggles. She tries to give mom zurberts, she gives great kisses, gives Hi Five. She understands mirrors. She is just so awesome. And because its my blog I can say that she is the smartest baby ever! :)

 Look at that little ponytail! Isnt it cute. First time on Saturday. I cant get enough of it.

Bedroom Finished.

Here are some pictures of the finished bedroom. I know this post is pretty boring, but some people wanted to see inside my house. And who knows how long I can keep it this clean for. So this is for all you people who have never been to my house.

Im just waiting to get my carpets cleaned, and then I will show pictures of the rest of the rooms.

Look at me go!

I dont really have any newish pictures of Brooklynn to share, as they are all posted on my facebook already. But you can rest assured, she is cuter than ever.

Updates:
-Rolls around like crazy without any problem. Front to back, back to front, and again..and again...and again
-Gets really frustrated that she cant crawl yet.
-Reaches for things like crazy
-Can take her soother out, put it back in, pull it out, put it in...etc etc etc
-Holds her own bottle all the time
-Been eating solids for about a month: apple sauce, pears, cereal, sweet potatoes, squash...tutti frutti, icecream, Rice Rusks, a little taste of this, a little taste of that. "That looks good, can I have some?"
-Size 6mon clothes, for the length, that absolutely drowned her because she is so petite (Her 3mon old cousin has passed her I think, and they were the same size at birth). Her jeggings arent even really jeggings because she is so scrawny. Just like mommy.
-Loves her toes
-Loves Maverick, even if the feeling is not mutual
-Not too sure about the jolly jumper. Likes the excersaucer.
-Loves frozen yogurt
-Loves mommy and daddy
-Hates Grandpas whisker kisses lol.

Ben has been going crazy in the yard trying to make it look nice. Planting trees, watering grass like crazy, trimming this, moving that. I love spring! I look out the window and everything is so green! It helps too that my in-laws have a beautiful yard, and our lot is surrounded by poplars. Its beautiful!

While Ben has been going crazy outside, I have been trying to keep up inside. Somehow, the house can get messy in just one day. I guess Ben is just trying to prepare me for the 8 kids he thinks we are having. Spick and span one minute, and then as soon as he gets home...Bang! messy again. Oh well, it gives me something to do while Brooklynn is napping. So I have the entire upstairs cleaned and organized. I work on the kitchen and living room everyday so that it doesnt get out of control. Unlike our bedroom, which was totally out of control, destruction zone. But I tackled that as well, and it looks fantastic. I love it!!! Except when ben drops his clothes on the floor as soon as he gets home....then I beat him with whatever he dropped lol :) Maybe then he will learn. Just waiting for him to drop something hard or heavy lol. JK! I even cleaned and organized our spare room upstairs, which I refer to as the catch-all room, because it is like that one drawer in the house that is the junk drawer, except our drawer is an entire room. So imagine all the junk that gets thrown in there.

I just have to decide if I am going to make the spare room into an office to do cow paperwork. I was going to, but then I remembered that when we have another baby, Brooklynn will be moved to that room, and the new baby will be in the nursery. Dont worry, Im not pregnant again yet, for all those who are like "whoa whoa whoa, what?" Im just thinking into the future. I dont want to have to haul the office desk upstairs, only to have to haul it back downstairs next year. So for now, I think it will just stay empty...and hopefully not catch any more junk.

I have also all of a sudden taken an interest in decorating! I think Pinterest may be to blame, cause there are always cool things on there. But I also just want to make my house look how I want, and until now, I havent really been interested in doing decorating. I bought new curtains for my bedroom, just to lighten the room up a bit because it is dark red, and used to have dark gold curtains. And I put a new douvet on that my parents got us for christmas. The only thing left to do is to put up the wall display above the head of the bed, since we dont have a headboard. I found this on Pinterest, and I made it today. Along with it will be various sized circular mirrors that came with the original mirror. Once that is done, my room will look exactly how I want it to. Then I can move on to the next room, the livingroom. I also want to get new curtains for that too, because it is the exact opposite of my bedroom, gold walls with red curtains. Im thinking cream curtains, just to brighten it up.

I also found this really cute spring wreath on Pinterest. Dont mind the spelling mistake on the sign, it was a face palm moment, and it has been fixed, I just didnt take a new picture. I think it turned out pretty good. What do you think?

Thats all for now. Im going to post pictures of my house once I have it all how I want it. Seeing as not very many people have actually seen inside my house. Grand Tour to come :)

What Ifs...

Well, I don't know exactly what to write, but I have so many thoughts going on in my head. But I can't really fully talk about most of them for fear of offending someone, even though this is MY blog after all. Even something that is mine is tainted by others, sheesh. So I'm going to put my thoughts into very vague hypothetical "what if" questions, and if you can guess what they are referring to, then that means that you know me pretty well.

1. What if men understood women? Enough said lol

2. What if you never gained weight?

3. What if things were how they were a hundred years ago, with technology and such?

4. What if people would admit that they were/are stupid or wrong?

5. What if people just....just not?

6. What if babies could talk, what would they say?

7. What would my child self say to me right now, or think of what I have done with my life?

8. What will my future self say to me now?

9. What if spring would finally come?

10. What if I hadn't married a farmer/rancher?

11. What if I was just finishing my third year like all my previous college classmates?

12. What if I didn't care about other peoples lives, and the drama they cause?

13. What if we had had a boy?

14. What if we were allowed to say exactly what we want to say, all the time, without fear of sounding rude or mean? Because lets face it, someone has to say something about, or I'm gonna go crazy.

15. What if I didn't have people on facebook that I have deliberately blocked so that I don't have to see their crap all over my news feed because it makes me furious? And yet go to their timeline and look at their crap cause I know that something on there will make me mad, and want to say something to them, which leads back to #1.

16. What if people stopped being fake and doing/saying things just because they think it is expected of them, or because they are trying to fool everyone? Again, back to #1 and #2.

17. What if people would be a little less selfish and not try to one-up or out-do for attention?

18. What if people realized how ridiculous they sound/act?

19. What if I could just say what I really want to say right now?

20. What if I had just gone to bed instead of writing this list?

Believe me, most of them sound alot worse in my mind when connected to the actual facts. But I wont share all those with you, because #19 isnt possible in today's world. So count this as a very beat-around-the-bush rant, that probably only I can understand. So I probably should have just done #20 :)